25 Totally Rad Things from the 1980’s
By Shane Pruitt
The other day I was speaking at an event for teenagers. Afterwards, I stood around talking with a small group of students, when I really showed my age by making a few references to things that these teenagers didn’t understand; things such as Napster, AIM, and “Oregon Trail.”
I began to talk like my grandfather. . .How did this happen to me?!? “Back in my day when we had to walk to school in the snow up hill both ways. . .we had dial-up internet. . .” Remember the guttural death sounds your computer would make as you were trying to connect to the world wide web (berrrr errrrnnnrr hmmmrrrr) so that you could instant message your “future girlfriend” by asking “A/S/L pic?” Oh, geez! Those are the days that I’m so glad are nailed to the cross of Christ under grace!
Then, later on I let my mind wander even a little further back to my most formative stage of life, from 2 years old to 12 years old. . .which were known as the 1980s! In my moment of nostalgia, I began to remember the toys, music, gadgets, and shows that shaped me. . .and I began to feel sorry for today’s teenagers, and my own kids. They think they’re so cool, and all I can say is, “NOT!”
Here are 25 totally tubular, bad to the bone, bodacious, gnarly, and completely rad things from the 1980’s that our kids will never understand. Sit back, chill, and take a trip Back to the Future with me:
1. Glo-Worm: (A stuffed animal and a night-light in one. Snuggles you, and keeps the Boogie-man away!)
2. Reebok Pumps: (Yes, I can play Ball. But, first let me ‘pump-up’ my kicks, because nothing says comfortable like an air-bubble in your shoes.)
3. Alf: (The comb-over. He was the first Hipster!)
4. Pogo Ball: (Because, we were too Rad for sticks!)
5. Teddy Ruxpin: (If you lost the cassette tape…You were done!)
6. Oregon Trial: (Yes, I’m a Banker! No, I got dysentery!)
7. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: (They’re making a comeback. Our future may be bright after all!)
8. The Cosby Family: (I grew up in the country. So, this show taught me that everyone did not look like me. Praise the Lord!)
9. Double Dare: (I knew I’d make that course look easy! First Ninja Warriors?)
10. Nintendo: (Everyone had their own pre-game ritual of making this thing work.)
11. Stretch Armstrong: (The clear gel in this thing was most likely Bio-Hazard.)
12. My Buddy: (I just realized that I had a lot of dolls as a child. Strange.)
13. Von Erichs: (I believe this was the first time I cried over someone dying.)
14. E. T.: (Why did a boy have a basket on his bicycle?)
15. The Gremlins: (Had to stay away from water. I tried to use this movie as an excuse for not taking baths.)
16. Tecmo Bowl: (We had a rule that no one could be the Raiders, because you couldn’t tackle Bo Jackson!)
17. Trapper Keeper: (A new school year, meant a new Trapper Keeper!)
18. He-Man and the Masters of the Universe: (Awesome. That is all I can say.)
19. Contra: (See if you still remember the code for 99 Lives.)
20. Vanilla Ice: (I still sing it every time I go to the refrigerator to get Ice, Ice Baby.)
21. Super Mario Bros.: (Not sure that this taught a good lesson. Do mushrooms and get the princess.)
22. Michael Jackson: (Before, he was weird and white.)
23. Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (I wanted that backyard. Without the mower, of course.)
24. M.C. Hammer: (Evidently, the IRS can “Touch This”.)
25. Back to the Future: (I’m still waiting on my hover-board!)
This was my 80’s. Feel free to add to the list!